Interaction SessionZ

Serial articles about Self Development.........
will be posted whenever chances passes by....
you can share what you have, you can comment or discuss with others..!!!



If We believe in Development, you have to MAKE a SteP forward &,yes, sometimes you have to look backward....



The Ladder of Inference
Avoiding "jumping to conclusions"
Have you ever been accused of "putting 2 and 2 together and making 5", meaning that the other person thinks you have jumped to the wrong conclusion?

In today's fast-moving world, we are always under pressure to act now, rather than spend time reasoning things through and thinking about the true facts. Not only can this lead us to a wrong conclusion, but it can also cause conflict with other people, who may have drawn quite different conclusions on the same matter.

Especially in a fast business environment, you need to make sure your actions and decisions are founded on reality. Similarly, when you accept or challenge other people's conclusions, you need be confident that their reasoning, and yours, is firmly based on the true facts. The "Ladder of Inference" helps you achieve this.

Sometimes known as the "Process of Abstraction", this tool helps you understand the thinking steps that can lead you to jump to wrong conclusions, and so helps you get back to hard reality and facts.

The Ladder of Inference was first put forward by organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and used by Peter Senge in The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization.





THINK .........THINK......THINK

BEFORE YOU REGRET........








Bushra

Six Thinking Hats
Looking at a Decision from All Points of View

"Six Thinking Hats" is a powerful technique that helps you look at important decisions from a number of different perspectives. It helps you make better decisions by pushing you to move outside your habitual ways of thinking. As such, it helps you understand the full complexity of a decision, and spot issues and opportunities which you might otherwise not notice.

Many successful people think from a very rational, positive viewpoint, and this is part of the reason that they are successful. Often, though, they may fail to look at problems from emotional, intuitive, creative or negative viewpoints. This can mean that they underestimate resistance to change, don't make creative leaps, and fail to make essential contingency plans.

Similarly, pessimists may be excessively defensive, and people used to a very logical approach to problem solving may fail to engage their creativity or listen to their intuition.

If you look at a problem using the Six Thinking Hats technique, then you'll use all of these approaches to develop your best solution. Your decisions and plans will mix ambition, skill in execution, sensitivity, creativity and good contingency planning.

This tool was created by Edward de Bono in his book "6 Thinking Hats".

How to Use the Tool:
To use Six Thinking Hats to improve the quality of your decision-making, look at the decision "wearing" each of the thinking hats in turn.

Each "Thinking Hat" is a different style of thinking. These are explained below:

White Hat:
With this thinking hat, you focus on the data available. Look at the information you have, and see what you can learn from it. Look for gaps in your knowledge, and either try to fill them or take account of them.

This is where you analyze past trends, and try to extrapolate from historical data.




Red Hat:
Wearing the red hat, you look at the decision using intuition, gut reaction, and emotion. Also try to think how other people will react emotionally, and try to understand the intuitive responses of people who do not fully know your reasoning.

Black Hat:
When using black hat thinking, look at things pessimistically, cautiously and defensively. Try to see why ideas and approaches might not work. This is important because it highlights the weak points in a plan or course of action. It allows you to eliminate them, alter your approach, or prepare contingency plans to counter problems that arise.
Black Hat thinking helps to make your plans tougher and more resilient. It can also help you to spot fatal flaws and risks before you embark on a course of action. Black Hat thinking is one of the real benefits of this technique, as many successful people get so used to thinking positively that often they cannot see problems in advance, leaving them under-prepared for difficulties.
Yellow Hat:
The yellow hat helps you to think positively. It is the optimistic viewpoint that helps you to see all the benefits of the decision and the value in it, and spot the opportunities that arise from it. Yellow Hat thinking helps you to keep going when everything looks gloomy and difficult.

Green Hat:
The Green Hat stands for creativity. This is where you can develop creative solutions to a problem. It is a freewheeling way of thinking, in which there is little criticism of ideas. A whole range of creativity tools can help you here.


Blue Hat:
The Blue Hat stands for process control. This is the hat worn by people chairing meetings. When running into difficulties because ideas are running dry, they may direct activity into Green Hat thinking. When contingency plans are needed, they will ask for Black Hat thinking, and so on.
You can use Six Thinking Hats in meetings or on your own. In meetings it has the benefit of defusing the disagreements that can happen when people with different thinking styles discuss the same problem.

A similar approach is to look at problems from the point of view of different professionals (e.g. doctors, architects, sales directors) or different customers.

Example:The directors of a property company are looking at whether they should construct a new office building. The economy is doing well, and the amount of vacant office space is reducing sharply. As part of their decision they decide to use the 6 Thinking Hats technique during a planning meeting.

Looking at the problem with the White Hat, they analyze the data they have. They examine the trend in vacant office space, which shows a sharp reduction. They anticipate that by the time the office block would be completed, that there will be a severe shortage of office space. Current government projections show steady economic growth for at least the construction period.

With Red Hat thinking, some of the directors think the proposed building looks quite ugly. While it would be highly cost-effective, they worry that people would not like to work in it.

When they think with the Black Hat, they worry that government projections may be wrong. The economy may be about to enter a 'cyclical downturn', in which case the office building may be empty for a long time.

If the building is not attractive, then companies will choose to work in another better-looking building at the same rent.

With the Yellow Hat, however, if the economy holds up and their projections are correct, the company stands to make a great deal of money.

If they are lucky, maybe they could sell the building before the next downturn, or rent to tenants on long-term leases that will last through any recession.

With Green Hat thinking they consider whether they should change the design to make the building more pleasant. Perhaps they could build prestige offices that people would want to rent in any economic climate. Alternatively, maybe they should invest the money in the short term to buy up property at a low cost when a recession comes.

The Blue Hat has been used by the meeting's Chair to move between the different thinking styles. He or she may have needed to keep other members of the team from switching styles, or from criticizing other peoples' points.

Key points:
Six Thinking Hats is a good technique for looking at the effects of a decision from a number of different points of view.

It allows necessary emotion and skepticism to be brought into what would otherwise be purely rational decisions. It opens up the opportunity for creativity within Decision Making. It also helps, for example, persistently pessimistic people to be positive and creative.

Plans developed using the '6 Thinking Hats' technique are sounder and more resilient than would otherwise be the case. This technique may also help you to avoid public relations mistakes, and spot good reasons not to follow a course of action, before you have committed to it.





Bushra
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Hey Bushra

EXCELLENT TOPIC!

I hope that is finds a perceptive audience to read, understand and actually, Apply it one day in thier lives

الله يحفظك و يحميك

As a leader, deciding to make changes is the easy part. Getting your people on board is much more difficult. Why is that? Quite simply, change is an emotional process. We are all creatures of habit who usually resist it, and welcome routine. Unchartered waters are scary!





In the long run, however, sameness is the fast tract to mediocrity. And, mediocre companies won't survive. Tuli Kupferberg said it best... "When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." And, that is your challenge...to convince your team that the new world you are trying to create is better than the one you're in. Is it easy? Of course not. It takes planning, commitment, patience and courage.





The truth, of course, is that change can be a wonderful gift. In fact, it is the key that unlocks the doors to growth and excitement in any organization. And, most importantly, without it...your competition will pass you by. A big part of success, as a leader, will be your ability to inspire your team to get out of their comfort zones; to assure them that even though they are on a new path, it's the right path, for the right reasons.





That's what this book is all about....ideas, to inspire, to motivate, and to encourage your team to move forward and to embrace change.








Something magical happens when we accept personal responsibility for our behavior and our results. But, it's not easy, because it's human nature to "pass the buck". I (Mac) know there have been times in my life when my business was struggling where I found myself blaming others, blaming the economy, blaming this, blaming that! But as I've gotten older (and a little wiser) when things go wrong in my business, or my life, I can always find the culprit...in the mirror. In every instance, it always comes back to choices I've made in my life that put me exactly where I am today. I have to say, that this one "tweak" in my attitude may sound like a little thing, but it has made a big difference in my life.





What does all this have to do with change? Plenty! As a manager, one of the most important things you can do in times of change is to get your people to understand how taking personal responsibility and recognizing problems as opportunities, will not only help the company, but will help them as individuals. In other words, sell the idea of...what's in it for them?





Authors B.J. Gallagher and Steve Ventura wrote a great little book about achieving success through personal accountability titled: Who Are "They" Anyway? I like their list showing how each individual in the company can benefit by adopting a "personal accountability attitude":





- You have more control over your destiny
- You become an active contributor rather than a passive observer
- Others look to you for leadership
- You gain the reputation as a problem solver
- You enhance your career opportunities
- You enjoy the satisfaction that comes from getting things done...the power of positive doing
- You experience less anger, frustration and helplessness - all leading to better physical health
- You realize a positive spillover effect into your personal life at home





According to Gallagher and Ventura, the most important words of personal responsibility are as follows:










Frank Tyger said it best ..."Your future depends on many things, but mostly yourself."

you know what Bushra ... you are one of the inspirable

people I ever met.

I like this subject ..

people like us need it so much ..


keep in ... may God protect you

How often do you not say or do something because you’re worried about how it’ll be perceived? For most of us, myself included, this happens more often then we’d like to admit.



We live in a culture that is starving for authenticity. We want our leaders, our co-workers, our family members, our friends, and everyone else we interact with to tell us the truth and to be themselves. Most important, we want to have the personal freedom and confidence to say, do, and be who we really are, without worrying so much about how we appear to others and what they might think or say about us.



Sadly, however, even though we may say we want to live in a way that is true to our deepest passions, beliefs, and desires; most of us don’t and it’s not that easy. We’ve been taught by our parents, teachers, spouses, friends, co-workers, politicians, the media, and others, that it’s more important to be liked and to fit in than it is to be who we truly are. In addition, many of us assume that who we are is not good enough and therefore we’re constantly trying to fix ourselves, or to act like others who we think are better than us.



However, as the famous 19th century author and poet Oscar Wilde so brilliantly stated, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”



What it Really Means to Be Authentic

Authenticity is about enjoying a new sense of freedom to be who we really are--ourselves, natural and without a mask in our relationships, our work, and our life. It takes courage, commitment, and depth to:



• Look within ourselves
• Tell the whole truth (even when we don’t want to)
• Be vulnerable
• Admit, own, and share our true thoughts, feelings, desires, insecurities, passions, embarrassment, dreams, and more.


However, being open and real about all of these things (and more) is what it means to be authentic in life.



Five Principles for Being Your Authentic Self


In order to utilize the power of authenticity in your life as a way to enhance your relationships, increase your fulfillment, and empower yourself, here are five key principles:


1) Know Yourself – Make a commitment to your own personal growth. Discover more of who you are. And, seek out and allow the support, honest feedback, and guidance of others.

2) Transform Your Fear – There’s nothing wrong with having fear, it’s the resistance and denial of fear that is the real problem. When you admit, own, feel, and express your fear, you have the ability to move through it, transform it, and utilize its power in a positive way. Taking action in the face of fear is courageous and empowering.

3) Express Yourself – Have the courage to speak your truth boldly. Deal with conflicts directly. Express your emotions fully. Be vulnerable and real about what you think and how you feel. While on the surface you may worry that this will be seen as “weak,” in actuality expressing yourself completely gives you access to real freedom and power.

4) Be bold – Live, speak, and act with courage, passion, and truth – even if it’s difficult or scary. Go for what you want in your work and in your life. And get back up when you fall down, which you will.

5) Celebrate Who You Are – Appreciate and honor who you are, what you do, and the gifts and talents that you have. Celebrating yourself is not about being arrogant. It’s an awareness of your own power and it’s the key to self confidence, fulfillment, and authenticity.



Being your authentic self is not for the faint of heart, but once you’re willing to truly engage and do the work to become more real - your life, your work, and your relationships will be more exciting, meaningful, and fulfilling!

Hey, Regina
how are you?

thank you so much , I love your posts
so encouraging & motivating
& it always push you to believe more & more , that the REAL CHANG is within NOT WITHOUT
work the Inside & surface it outside..

God bless your soul

waiting for more of your participationZ

GooD LucK

You see, cold shiver ... it's always easy to say things, but the hardest part is acting them out. It's not as simple as you think.

Success Enablers and Blockers

Research by leading universities in the field of cognitive and behavioral science proves the existence of so called “automatic thoughts”, i.e. thoughts that come to mind involuntarily and effortlessly as an automatic response to certain stimuli. These are the thoughts that ultimately determine whether you'll fail or succeed.


The average person processes over 60'000 separate thoughts per day, of which 90% occur subconsciously. Automatic thoughts are produced by our subconscious mind and continue to execute without the involvement of our conscious mind. Think about how many things you just do day in day out without even consciously thinking about it. These automatic thoughts are like mini computer programs in our subconscious minds. They automatically come into action as a response to stimuli in our environment.


While many automatic thoughts are positive, some of them can create undesirable limitations in terms of our ability to evolve and progress – you could call them “success blockers”. They simply prevent us from progressing or being successful in certain areas. Automatic thoughts determine your thought patterns, attitudes and behaviors. The reactions we then observe from your environment validate your thoughts.


Certain negative “automatic thoughts” are triggered by common negative deeply rooted belief and thought patterns with groups of people who experience the same or similar challenges and limitations. Conversely, observations of successful people reveal that many of their successes can be attributed to a distinct set of positive cognitive patterns in their belief system.


Thanks to continued research, we now have much more accurate insight into positive as well as negative cognitive patterns. Identifying and recognizing these very patterns forms the foundation of effective cognitive conditioning. Let's have a look at some success enabling patterns:


Success Enabling Thought Patterns

• Believing in your Unique Skills, Talents and Capabilities - Believing in our own innate skills, talents and capabilities is not only important from a professional development perspective; it also enables you to align your uniqueness in its entirety with your potential. Several studies reveal that we are the happiest and most effective when we can utilize our individual abilities to the highest degree possible. The objective is to allow you to raise beyond your current limitations and maximize your personal potential.

• Viewing Life as a “Platform” for Opportunities- Viewing life as a big platform of opportunities opens doors for opportunities to materialize. It focuses our minds on the possibilities rather than the limitations. Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have a disproportionate amount of luck? They seem to be at the right place at the right time or meet the right people at the right time. The truth is that it isn’t mere luck, most of these people consciously as well as unconsciously look for opportunities and find them, because their mind is open and receptive to opportunities.

• Accepting and Expecting Positive Change - Change has a tendency to reward people who embrace it. Welcoming change also means having the courage to explore new areas of potential success. An open attitude toward change is essential for positive change to take place.

• Feeling Empowered and in Charge - Accepting responsibility for your own destiny and feeling empowered to shape your destiny according to your ideas is a key success factor. Successful people don’t look for other people or circumstances to shape their destiny. They actively take control and create their destiny.

• Self Confidence and Self Esteem - A healthy level of self confidence and self esteem is not only necessary, it is essential for any kind of success we seek achieve. Only when you’re comfortable with who you are and confident in what you can do, will other people believe in you and your abilities. This applies both to your personal as well as your professional life.

• Living with Purpose - All successful and generally happy people display high levels of purpose and action orientation. They keep their goals in mind, act on their ideas, follow through with their plans and stay the course until they achieve what they want.

• Accepting and Offering Help - Many people have a hard time asking others for help. They confuse accepting help from others with weakness. This couldn’t be farther from reality. Most successful people know about the importance of seeking and accepting help. They achieve their goals by leveraging other people’s skills and strengths that they themselves lack. At the same time they offer their help to others and create mutually beneficial relationships.

• Seeing Setbacks as Opportunities for Progression - Most successful people will tell you that they have had their share of setbacks. What sets them them apart is that they accept setbacks as a natural phenomenon and have the ability to stay focused on their long term goals. Setbacks are often accompanied by opportunities and it is key that you continue to look for these opportunities while you experience setbacks.


Do you "own" all these success enablers? If not, focus on adopting the ones you don't own and continue to build on the others.


While adopting positive success enabling cognitive patterns is extremely important in terms of reaching your goals, it is of equal importance to eliminate limiting thought patterns (“success blockers”) that continue to stand in the way of personal growth, progress and success. The following is only a partial list of typical “success blockers":


Negative Thought Patterns

• Feeling "not good enough" - One of the key reasons why most people never reach their full potential is rooted in various forms of mostly unconscious beliefs of not being good enough. Although most people don’t like to admit it, it continues to lead the charts of top “success blockers”.

• Resistance to Change - Resisting change is mostly coupled with fear of the unknown. It is often evidenced by people who despite their unhappiness with their situation experience resistance to exploring opportunities for change. This resistance to change often leads to missed opportunities for advancement.

• Dependencies or Co-dependencies- Perceptions of dependencies and co-dependencies come in many forms. The result, however, is mostly the erroneous belief that our happiness and success is dependent on certain people, actions or circumstances outside of our control.

• Blaming Others for Missed Opportunities - We’ve all experienced instances where we thought other people stood in the way of our success. If these experiences turn into core beliefs that we carry with us, consciously or unconsciously, we not only create excuses for not progressing, but also obstacles to recognize ways to work around them and achieve our goals.

• Negative Expectations - The are multiple roots causing attitudes of negative expectations. Negative expectations in life tend to create self fulfilling prophesies. If our mindset reflects an attitude of “I can’t possibly do or achieve that”, chances are that these predictions will become a reality. People with generally negative expectations often feel that life is a constant struggle and the next negative event is just around the corner. Imagine an athlete going into the Olympic games thinking “I’m can’t possibly win”, or a CEO of a company thinking “I don’t believe we’ll ever succeed here”. Releasing negative expectations is key to any form of success you may want to achieve.

• I-don’t-deserve Attitudes - I-don’t-deserve attitudes are often deeply rooted beliefs connected with beliefs of inferiority. Because we unconsciously believe that we don’t deserve to strive for or achieve certain things, we either “go into the game” with low expectations for success, or often don’t even try. The result is often that we simply miss out.

• Being a Victim of Circumstances - Victims of circumstances tend to accept unhappiness, mediocrity or failure as part of their destiny. Victims of circumstances often feel helpless, they think cannot or don’t know how to do or achieve certain things. They often miss to realize that they have the power to change their circumstances. Therefore, they don’t empower themselves to take control in shaping their circumstances according to their wishes.

• Procrastination and Passivity - Positive change always requires an orientation toward action. The best objectives and plans don’t mean much if there’s lack of action and follow-through. And yet, one of the top reasons most people don’t progress or fail to achieve their goals is because they don’t follow through.

• Earning Approval or Love of Others - Cognitive patterns reflecting the necessity to earn the approval or love of other people can create serious limitations on many fronts. These attitudes divert our thoughts, behaviors and actions from our own individual needs and goals to doing to what’s good for someone else. We can be supportive and helpful to others while staying true to ourselves.

• Rational Excuses for Irrational Behavior - Rational excuses for irrational behavior come to light when we find “good reasons” for why certain things can’t be done, or why we do things that shouldn't be done. Excuses, even if packaged in rational sounding reasons, can’t hide the fact that we’re still looking at excuses. As long as we believe these “good excuses” positive change cannot be initiated.



Do any of the above patterns sound familiar to you? If you’re like most people, chances are that at least some of the above “success blockers” are currently preventing you from advancing. Make a conscious effort to address them.

Hellllllo girls.

how are u all with this shoooort vacatio or shall I call it week off.


By the way girls, today the world is celecirating Shakespear's Birthday in his birthday city Straford.

It seems that the whole world is celebirating him.

so, Happy Birthday Shakespeare.

Sara.

::You Deserve to Be Happy::

Achieving your own happiness is the best measure of how well you are living your life and enjoying your relationships. You can learn how to be happier and more fulfilled in everything you do.

Everyone is Different
Happiness in life is like a smorgasbord. If 100 people went to a smorgasbord and each put food on their plate in the quantity and mix that each felt would be most pleasing to him, every plate would be different. Even a husband and wife would go up to the smorgasbord and come back with plates that looked completely different. Happiness is the same way. Each person requires a particular combination of those ingredients to feel the very best about himself or herself.


Listen to Your Heart
And your mix is changing continually. If you went to the same smorgasbord every day for a year, you probably would come back with a different plateful of food each time. Each day-sometimes each hour-only you can tell what it takes to make you happy. Therefore, the only way to judge whether a job, a relationship, an investment, or any decision, is right for you is to get in touch with your feelings and listen to your heart.


Be True to Yourself
You're true to yourself only when you follow your inner light, when you listen to what Ralph Waldo Emerson called the "still, small voice within."on called the You're being the very best person you can be only when you have the courage and the fortitude to allow your definition of happiness, whatever it may be, to be the guiding light of every part of your life.


There Are No Limits
A very important point on the subject of happiness is whether or not you feel that you "deserve" to be happy.

Accept the notion that you deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through the application of your talents and abilities. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. And the more deserving you feel, the more likely you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.


Make Happiness Your Key Measure
You should make happiness the organizing principle of your life. Compare every possible action and decision you make against your standard of happiness to see whether that action would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made - or are currently making - that do not contribute to your happiness.


Pay the Price
Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don't make you happy along the way toward those larger things that make you very happy indeed. We call this paying the price of success in advance. You must pay your dues. Sometimes these interim steps don't make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goal will be so great that it totally overwhelms the temporary inconveniences and dissatisfactions you have to endure in order to get there.


Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, accept that you deserve all the joy and happiness you can possibly achieve through your own efforts.

Second, make your own happiness the chief organizing principle of your life and judge everything against that standard.

Third, be willing to work hard and pay the price for the satisfaction and rewards you desire. Always go the extra mile and your success will be assured.

With the ever-increasing pace of life and the demands placed upon us, we are
experiencing more and more prolonged periods of stress, which can lead to burn out and more serious illnesses if not dealt with. Fear/anxiety related illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, chronic fatigue, depression, have reached epidemic proportions.


The main reason for this is people have lost touch with themselves and what life is about. We have been living in a world that has dictated how we are to live and have become almost like robots. As a result of this we have lost touch with what is really important to us, our core values. There seems to be no time anymore to relax, play with the kids, read a book, do hobbies etc. People don’t seem to enjoy life anymore. Everything seems to revolve around money and work. This is not how life is meant to be lived.


Well there is a global grand awakening that is occurring right now, as more and more people are reaching a point where they are no longer willing to live this way, and asking themselves questions like “Is this all there is to life?” or “What do I really want in life?”, “Who am I?” People are looking for simplicity, balance and more inner peace.


There are many ways we can help ourselves to bring back those qualities into our lives and alleviate the fear and anxiety we may be experiencing. Listed below are some strategies that will help you experience more peace and joy, which may in turn lead to creative solutions to the challenges you may be facing.


Tips:

First of all let’s look at fear. Do you know it stands for False Evidence Appearing Real? 99% of our fear is produced in our heads. This is due to experience or programming and conditioning from different sources. You either allow it to control you or not. We have been programmed to allow it. Yet you have the power to dissolve it and to do so instantly. There are different fears we have, so let’s explore a few.


• Fear of failure – you never fail! You only experience. It is through experience we grow, evolve. Life is all about experience and evolving.

• Fear of change – nothing ever stays the same. The universe is constantly in motion. You have to accept this, embrace change rather than resist it and go with the natural flow of life. Again through change we grow. We have to get used to stepping out of our comfort zone (also known as the dead zone!). When we resist change, problems occur.

• Fear of rejection– when you allow fear to engulf you and stop you from doing what you feel or need to do for fear of rejection, you are basically rejecting yourself. So the rejection has already been done. This is another deeply embedded program, worrying what others will think or if you will be good enough!

• The biggest fear though is “Fear of your power!!!!” As Nelson Mandela said in his inaugural speech, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. It is that we are more powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us!!”

There really is no thing to fear. We have been so heavily programmed to fear, and now it is time to break free. That is what the global awakening is all about. So we are in times of great change, great uncertainty, as people begin to wake up, take back their power and live life the way it is meant to be, one of peace and harmony. One of abundance. The chaos that you are seeing globally is this transformation.

The old ways have to dissolve in order for the new to emerge. So for many, fear is coming up in a big way. Fear of change, fear of what is going to happen to them and the world. Yet we have to go with the flow as the changes are necessary. We each have to face our fears, dissolve them, and take back our power, let our lights shine! So here are some tips to assist you.


1. The best way to deal with fear is to look at it, not run from it. Remember it has no control over you unless you allow it. Think of when you walk into a dark room and switch on the light. Instantly the darkness disappears and this is the same when you look at fear. Imagine a laser beaming at it as you look and watch how it disappears. It has to. For many the fear is deeply embedded and so will keep reappearing for a while. Just keep on looking at it, and breathe. The only way is through and you will see this is true. As you face your fears or even just be aware that you are feeling fear and be willing to observe it, it will disappear. (This takes courage at first, but I can share from my own experience it works, so persevere!)


2. When you are feeling anxious or panicky notice what happens to your breathing. It becomes shallow and your heart beats faster. Your body also stiffens, can become almost frozen in a way. You need to get more oxygen into your body to calm you, get the energy flowing again, and use that adrenaline that is being pumped out. So you need to physically move and breathe deeply.


• Just start by taking 3 long, slow deep breaths as deep as you can, putting all of your attention on it. As you breathe out let a sigh or sound come out. We all do this naturally, just not aware usually. This begins to break the thoughts that are creating the fear or anxiety.

• If you can go and take a brisk walk or jog in nature. As you walk/jog, breathe deeply and focus your attention on nature, what you hear, see and feel. Feel the warmth of the sun, the wind; hear the sounds of the birds, the wind blowing through the trees. See the many colours of flowers, trees, etc. and the many birds and animals. Do your best to keep your focus here. Whenever you find your mind wandering back to the fearful thoughts, bring it back to focusing on breathing and then nature. That is the most powerful way to get things moving. Doing this in combination with the exercises below saved my life. I always make sure I walk at least 3-4 times a week, even if it is only for 30 minutes as I love the beauty and gifts of nature. I find that many solutions and inspirations come my way during this time and I ALWAYS feel better when I come back.

• If you can’t get outside but are able to move, stand with your feet hip width apart and knees slightly bent, arms about 12” away from your body, palms facing forward. It is important to keep your knees bent, and create space between your arms and body, so that energy can flow and the body is less rigid. Also by standing it helps to ground you. Keep your eyes looking straight, not down as this can make things worse, and head erect as if you had a hook on the top of your head pulling you up. (When you look down you lose energy. Just look at the posture of someone who is happy and someone who is not and you will see the difference.)

• Begin to breathe deeply and slowly in and out. Notice if you can get your belly to rise as you breathe in and lower when you breathe out. You may this too difficult if you tend to breathe shallow, so do your best. One small step at a time is all that is required. Keep your attention on your breathing, feeling the air flow in and out of your nose. This focusing will help to stop the mental chatter that is making the problems seem impossible to resolve. This is basically what meditation is, focusing on one thing. Continue this for several breaths. If you find you get dizzy then stop breathing so deeply and go back to your regular breath. This is also best done outside in bare feet. Nature is a powerful healer.

• Once you have done a few breaths, then begin to alternate lifting one leg at a time, bending your knee and crossing your opposite arm over and placing your hand on the opposite thigh. Repeat several times placing your hand on your opposite thigh in a gentle flowing motion. Don’t rush it. Breathe in as you lift your leg and place your opposite hand on it and out as you lower your leg and place you arm back to its original position. Get into a rhythm, keeping your eyes looking forwards. This makes you be present and focus on what you are doing, and in turn interrupts the fearful/anxious thoughts, breaking the pattern. The knees act as a pump and help to increase the energy flow. This will greatly assist you and you will notice a difference, maybe not immediately but very shortly after.

• Another way is by imagining a ray of sun coming in through the top of your head, traveling down your spine and legs, and out through the soles of your feet into the ground. As you breathe in, feel the warmth of the ray flowing down and into your head, and as you breathe out, feel it flow down your body into the ground. Repeat several times. Imagine all the fear/anxiety flowing out into the earth to be dissolved.


What all of the above do is help to break the thoughts that are infusing the fear. Did you know that we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day and yet there are only a few that keep repeating themselves, just like a tape. It is these thoughts that feed the fear. So we need to break them.

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3. Meditation is the most powerful tool to do this. Meditation is basically training the mind to focus on one thing. So whether we are focusing on our breath, or movement or nature, we are breaking those thought waves.


There is another part to meditation. There is a part of us that is much bigger than our minds. It is our spirit which is connected to the universe. Our spirit/authentic/real self can instantly transform fear and provide solutions/clarity. We connect with our authentic self by going within and being still. Most people are completely out of touch with this aspect of themselves and yet this is the key to not only alleviating all fear, but providing the life you truly desire.


When you tap into your spirit, you will experience inner peace. So it is very important each day to make time to be by yourself and be still. I know this can be uncomfortable for many at first. However it is essential to learn how to tune into yourself. Believe it or not you know inside what you need to do to help yourself in each moment. You actually have all the answers within. You just don’t realize it, have forgotten this. When in fear mode, all solutions seem impossible as it blocks you from thinking clearly. As Einstein said, “You cannot solve the problem with the same level of consciousness.”

We have many patterns, habits that are fear based/negative that we have had for eons and are not aware of. In order to change habits you need to be aware of them. In order to be aware of them, you have to know yourself. In order to get to know yourself, you have to spend time with yourself. Get the picture!!!


• Just start by sitting quietly and taking 3 deep breaths. Then go back to your normal breathing and just focus on it. See if you can feel your natural rhythm. Notice how your chest, belly lifts and lowers with each breath. You can even place your hands on your belly. Every time your mind wanders, gently bring it back. The key is not to get pulled into your thoughts. Just notice them and continue. Imagine them like clouds floating by. This does take practice so be patient with yourself.

• Then go through your body telling each part to relax. See if you can feel the area let go as you do so. This really keeps you in the moment and breaks the mental chatter. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Start with 5 minutes morning and night if you can. You will find it makes a difference. This is the best way to start to get to know yourself again, to connect with your spirit and will assist you in more ways than you know. It is a key to inner peace.


4. Rescue Remedy is a natural flower remedy that consists of 5 flower essences that immediately calm you. They basically neutralize the fear/anxiety you may be experiencing and are good for all types of trauma. Picture the essence flooding the area and dissolving it. You just put 4 drops under your tongue. These are flower essences so cannot harm you and you cannot overdose on them. So you can take as many drops as you like throughout the day. When I was going through some tough times I basically lived on it!!! It really assisted me. You can purchase it at any health store and some of the big supermarkets now carry it. As a sideline it can be used on animals, children and plants too, so a great thing to keep in your medicine cabinet.


There are other natural supplements/herbs available that assist in calming you and helping aid sleep. B complex is essential as it calms the central nervous system. 5HTP is great for depression and as a sleep aid. Magnesium helps with relaxing muscles and sleep. Holy Basil is also good for calming as well as L’Theanine. To assist with balancing the adrenal glands, Borage oil is good and Maca for helping with energy levels.


5. Keeping a journal is another way to assist. It allows you to put your thoughts on paper, thereby creating space in your head, and often when looking at what you have written, solutions appear. It also helps create self awareness.


• Write daily at least 10 things you are grateful for. This also has the power to shift negative feelings.

• Make a list of what brings you joy and peace. Notice how you feel as you think of them. That warm pleasant feeling transforms fear! Now look at your life and see if you are doing those things that you love to do. If not then here is a BIG clue for you. If you truly desire to live in abundance in all areas of your life, you must live from your heart. You must live doing what you enjoy, what you feel passionate about.

• Your spirit is extremely creative and so when you give yourself a break from the mental chatter, inspiration often comes. Ask your Higher/ real self to show the way. Let your creativity come through and use it. It is another powerful tool.

• Write down what you really want in life. What is really important to you? Be willing to let go of what you don’t want, no matter how scary it can seem. If you are doing things you don’t want to do, it is affecting you on many levels. The global transformation we are currently experiencing demands that we let go of everything that is not working in our lives and focus only on what does. I know this is scary, had to do it myself. But the rewards are well, well worth it!


People are going through massive changes right now in their lives as they move back into their power and begin to live life the way it was meant to be.


The key is teaching yourself to stay in the moment, in the present by focusing on what brings you joy and peace, no matter what is going on in the outside world. Remember that the media are paid to deliver negative news, to keep people in a place of fear. So what is the next tip?


6. You got it. Stop watching and listening to the news. I have found from my own experience that I am told what I need to know. Also stop watching programmes that are violent as this has a subliminal effect on you, further infusing you with fear, even if you are not aware. Only watch movies, programmes that give you a sense of peace, joy.


7. Last but not least, it is essential you develop a loving relationship with yourself. We are heavily programmed to believe that we are not good enough as we are, so constantly comparing ourselves to others and striving to improve ourselves. We are perfectly ok as we are. We really are our own worst enemy. No one berates us more. So it is time to be gentle, loving and patient with yourself as you let go of the old ways, and allow the real you to emerge.


Remember that your fear programming has been with you a long time and will take a little while to change. Also that the whole planet is going through a huge transformation, so everyone is being called upon to do the same thing. Break free from the fear and live in peace. May these tips assist you on your own journey to freedom.

Three Skills to Improve Conversation

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.


The Benefits of Pausing
First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity. The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.


Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you mean, exactly?"

This is the most powerful question I've ever learned for controlling a conversation. It is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, "How do you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker's words in your own words. After you've nodded and smiled, you can then say, "Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying is . . ."


Demonstrate Attentiveness
By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings. And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence.


Listening Builds Trust
The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you.

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase.


Listening Develops Discipline
Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person's words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.


Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how powerful this technique really is.

Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.

Four Steps to a Super Attitude

Decide How to React
It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you, especially when you have unexpected problems of any kind.

Here are four things you can do to assure that your attitude is the very best it can be, under all circumstances.


Focus On the Future
First, whatever challenges you face, focus on the future rather than on the past. Instead of worrying about who did what and who is to blame, focus on where you want to be and what you want to do. Get a clear mental image of your ideal successful future, and then take whatever action you can to begin moving in that direction. Get your mind, your thoughts, and your mental images on the future.


Think About the Solution
Second, whenever you're faced with a difficulty, focus on the solution rather than on the problem. Think and talk about the ideal solution to the obstacle or setback, rather than wasting time rehashing and reflecting on the problem. Solutions are inherently positive, whereas problems are inherently negative. The instant that you begin thinking in terms of solutions, you become a positive and constructive human being.


Look For the Good
Third, assume that something good is hidden within each difficulty or challenge. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, a major proponent of positive thinking, once said, "Whenever God wants to give us a gift, he wraps it up in a problem." The bigger the gift you have coming, the bigger the problem you will receive. But the wonderful thing is that if you look for the gift, you will always find it.


Seek the Valuable Lesson
Fourth, assume that whatever situation you are facing at the moment is exactly the right situation you need to ultimately be successful. This situation has been sent to you to help you learn something, to help you become better, to help you expand and grow.


Decide to Be Positive
A Positive Mental Attitude is indispensable to your success. You can be as positive as you want to be if you will simply think about the future, focus on the solution and look for the good. If you do what other successful people do, if you use your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and cheerful most of the time. And you will reap the benefits enjoyed by all successful people.


Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, become solution-oriented with every difficulty you face. Make a habit of looking for the answers to your questions, the solutions to your problems.

Second, seek for the valuable lesson in every adversity. Make a list of every idea or insight you can gain from every setback or difficulty.

Third, think on paper. Take some time to write out every detail of the problem, and then take the most logical next step to solve it.